yesterday i went to the gym and didn't realize that my boss was a member there also until i saw her pumping away on the machine i use in her teal and white reebok sneakers. I realized i was paranoid yesterday, and that I am a little nuts, but i swear she was racing me. there we are stationary on our elliptical machines, i saw her work out end and give her the little LED readout of heart rate and stuff, and then she stayed on the machine until i was finished. And the weirdest part was that every time i went faster (i was on the "random" setting) she went faster, even though she was doing hers manually. I guess i'm a creepy person who thinks way too much about the people around me at the gym..but it was really uncomfortable.
i tried to get to the showers before she was finished, i just didn't feel like having the conversation "oooh, i didn't know you had a..had a..ahem..a tattoo on your back." and then i would have to push my lips together into a tight toothless smile and nod as i said "yuuup. I do."
The best thing that happened was that their was this black trash bag and this woman (who would, in just a moment, take off her sports bra as she faced me so that her tits would gallop down drumming themselves against the stretched out skin of her stomach, nipples facing in various directions like cookie monster eyes.)
and she said to me, "What do you think is in that trash bag?"
"i hope it's not body parts i said."
she was quiet, i realized that that is probably a really really strange thing to say to a stranger who is about to expose herself to you.
"...uh, i guess i watch too many of those..."
"law and order," she jumped in, "svu, forensic files, oooh me too!"
And there was this moment where i understood that she sees everything around her differently solely because of an addiction to crime shows on television...or simply a prevalence of them on several channels at any time of day. i understood her, we were the same person. I, too, see duffel bags and lost gloves in a new light. I think about what luminol would look like on every carpet i walk on. I'm always looking for evidence and murderers and so was she. we were the same we were both smiling at each other with recognition of a new fraternity between us......and then fllooo-ooop-ooop the glorious moment came to a sudden and awkward halt as she flung her breasts at my face. i went back to drying my hair.
i tried to get to the showers before she was finished, i just didn't feel like having the conversation "oooh, i didn't know you had a..had a..ahem..a tattoo on your back." and then i would have to push my lips together into a tight toothless smile and nod as i said "yuuup. I do."
The best thing that happened was that their was this black trash bag and this woman (who would, in just a moment, take off her sports bra as she faced me so that her tits would gallop down drumming themselves against the stretched out skin of her stomach, nipples facing in various directions like cookie monster eyes.)
and she said to me, "What do you think is in that trash bag?"
"i hope it's not body parts i said."
she was quiet, i realized that that is probably a really really strange thing to say to a stranger who is about to expose herself to you.
"...uh, i guess i watch too many of those..."
"law and order," she jumped in, "svu, forensic files, oooh me too!"
And there was this moment where i understood that she sees everything around her differently solely because of an addiction to crime shows on television...or simply a prevalence of them on several channels at any time of day. i understood her, we were the same person. I, too, see duffel bags and lost gloves in a new light. I think about what luminol would look like on every carpet i walk on. I'm always looking for evidence and murderers and so was she. we were the same we were both smiling at each other with recognition of a new fraternity between us......and then fllooo-ooop-ooop the glorious moment came to a sudden and awkward halt as she flung her breasts at my face. i went back to drying my hair.
posted by j-e-s-s-i-c-a at 10:38 AM
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