40 days and 40 nights
I was a little worried that if I didn't post anything today, I might never do it again. It's funny the way things like this work, you get out of practice and routine, and then all of the sudden, it seems too big to start again. It seems like writing a little snip-it is far too much. It gets scary.
last night, I fell asleep before 9pm watching PBS, antique roadshow to be precise. I have to say that there is a serious threat of me becoming an old woman very very quickly. I mean lets face it. I've taken up knitting, riding public transportation, carrying a purse in the crook of my arm...and last night, before watching television, I made iced tea in a pot on the stove and ate fresh corn cut off from the cob. Soon my teeth will be in a jar on my night stand and I'll be grabbing you by both your cheeks to kiss you with my wrinkly lips. My hair will be transparent-white and permed high above my head so you get a terrific view of my scalp. The only question is, should I invest in a track suit now? or as my grandma calls them "sweats"
I've stopped going to the gym. The office I'm in now is far away from the gym. This morning I tried on my pants and they were too tight, like I wanted to go to a club in my kachis. My butt was really surprisingly, round when squeezed into these little pants. It's amazing. Truly.
I work in an office now, just like before. Counting the moments until I retire.
there is a woman here named Beth. She is very skinny, like Olsen twin skinny. She must be 50. She irons everything. She says she even irons her children's jeans. She screamed about a bug yesterday, so I killed it for her. I took it in a tissue and crushed it's little body between two of my fingers. I wonder if she thinks about how my karma was effected in that situation. I wonder if she prayed for me last night when she went home "Lord, I made her kill a creature and it wasn't even in her job description." ...I'm sure she didn't. When I give her phone messages she rolls her eyes and lets out an exhausted sigh."These people! I don't know how they breath!" Beth also points out when you make mistakes. She points this out from the other room and shouts it while others were talking "IT WAS IN THE WRONG BOX, THAT'S WHY SHE COULDN'T FIND IT!" the other women in the office silently apologize for her. "it happens, the boxes are very close together," they say.
I work at the hospital. In administration. We are the cogs and wheels of the hospital. People call us when they are upset, their chair is broken, their thermostat won't work, the doctor won't call them back or they have been ruined by 6 surgeries in 8 months and are now perminantly disfigured and in constant pain.
I like my job. I like hearing why someone is upset, and giving them a chance to tell me "I'm sorry I'm just venting at you..." They say in between paragraphs "it's okay" I say and they go on. They would go on forever until I tell them to stop. And sometimes, I can fix it. I can call someone and get their broken chair repaired, or get their thermostat to go below 90, where it has been all week. They hardly ever thank you. They are probably complaining about something else to someone else by then.
Carla is a large, kind woman who works here. She seems to do more work than anyone else. She does payroll. She handles all of problems people have with their pay or getting ids or email accounts. She is tall and wide and has one eye that is blind and covered white. She wears pink a lot and just came back from a cruise. I was sad to hear she got sea sick because I wanted her to have a break. She came back relaxed and friendly as ever. She laughs like the Pillsbury dough boy. heheeeeee.
Sandy is the other woman that does my job. She is chipper and spats out "mmmhmmm You welcome!" with a sharp nod, at the end of every conversation. She says "you" instead of "your" and never corrects it. She talks to herself all of the time. Sometimes I have to ask her if I should be listening or not because talks at a regular decibel and asks questions I feel like I should be answering. "Now, this is a fax from Dr. Soandso, when did this come in......I thought I kep a copy of that." I noticed Sandy says "kep" like I do.
I thought she was very chipper until her friend came in from down the hall, and she pointed at her bosses office and rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. She caught my cold and is out today.
Her boss' name is Jane. She must be nearing 60. She is slender and hunched forward like she is constantly being propelled forward. She is by far the busiest person I have ever worked for Yet, she looks me in the eye when she asks me questions and waits patiently for an answer. A woman last week was crying when she came in, and after she came out of Jane's office they were talking about yoga. Jane speaks slow and has big hands. She faxes things herself, even though she has a secretary. She never asks Sandy to make photo copies.
It makes me wonder, if Jane were a man, what would the case be. Would Sandy do more of Jane's work and not even think about it because she would see "him" as an authority. Do you know what I mean? Does Sandy resent Jane, partially for being a woman who has a very important job. Does Jane not expect as much help because she was raised differently than a man? The role of a secretary is subservient, it's no wonder that this role is usually held by a woman and that her boss is usually a man. And it seems to me that Jane does a lot of work a man in her position wouldn't be bothered with because he'd expect his secretary to do it.
I like working with all women sometimes. These women are not as caddy and shallow and secretive as the women in my last office. They are outright and funny and loud, the way I am used to men behaving....
I was going to finish that thought, but you know where I was headed and I got distracted: I was eating these goldfish crackers while writing that and I realized that I hate the goldfish with the smiley faces. I don't know how you guys feel about them, but I hate them. They don't pop in your mouth the way the other ones do when you break them in half with your tongue. I wish they never made the ones with the smiles.
this past weekend I went to the beach. (if you are trying to follow my train of thought, I just got a plum out of my bag and it still had sand on it. My family always ate plums at the beach. Plums and Bologna sandwiches.)
Jason and I drove up to meet my mom and my two brothers and their ladies at the beach in Wildwood, NJ. Jason and I stopped along the way to find a bathingsuit at Walmart, get a pack of tissues for my runny nose, stop at an icecream place to ask for directions, and get icecream. We were already behind schedule when the traffic suddenly stopped. There was an accident up ahead, a GMC jimmy pulling a camper, jacknifed and tumbled into the ravine to the left. The cars turned off their engines as one helicopter landed followed quickly by another. What was more amazing than all of this was the numbers of people that got out of their cars, and walked close to the devastating accident. Some, holding small children, some teenagers laughing loudly but all oggling and gasping in the excitement of it. This was disgusting. I didn't know what made me more sad. That there was this tragic accident or that hundreds of people would want to get close to gape at this catastrophe.
when we finally were able to move, we drove slowly the rest of the way and got lost in NJ. (which I admit was my fault, because I copied the directions wrong) it ended up taking us (with all of our pit stops) 7 hours to get to Wildwood. We didn't get to the beach that day.
We ate a big dinner and stayed up on the front porch talking with Joe and Christie and my mom about the Michael Moore movie. We saw the boat the take out fishing and their favorite ice cream shop. I got ice cream twice that day. First mint chocolate chip then caramel pecan turtle. mmmm.
Jason and I woke up early to get to the beach. We both wore funny sunglasses and I wore a floppy hat and long skirt. My family made him carry an umbrella and a boogie board too. We looked really silly. It was so much fun to play in the cold, merky water of the jersey shore.
Jason won me a teddy bear, or I won it, neither of us is quite sure, but we do know that it cost us about $20. We took a rid eon an upside-down roller coaster and I screamed my head off. We also rode the Ferris wheel twice and a sea gull almost got away with our whole funnel cake.
all in all it was a fantastic weekend.
I love you, internet.
we'll talk soon, I promise.
xoxo
jessica
I was a little worried that if I didn't post anything today, I might never do it again. It's funny the way things like this work, you get out of practice and routine, and then all of the sudden, it seems too big to start again. It seems like writing a little snip-it is far too much. It gets scary.
last night, I fell asleep before 9pm watching PBS, antique roadshow to be precise. I have to say that there is a serious threat of me becoming an old woman very very quickly. I mean lets face it. I've taken up knitting, riding public transportation, carrying a purse in the crook of my arm...and last night, before watching television, I made iced tea in a pot on the stove and ate fresh corn cut off from the cob. Soon my teeth will be in a jar on my night stand and I'll be grabbing you by both your cheeks to kiss you with my wrinkly lips. My hair will be transparent-white and permed high above my head so you get a terrific view of my scalp. The only question is, should I invest in a track suit now? or as my grandma calls them "sweats"
I've stopped going to the gym. The office I'm in now is far away from the gym. This morning I tried on my pants and they were too tight, like I wanted to go to a club in my kachis. My butt was really surprisingly, round when squeezed into these little pants. It's amazing. Truly.
I work in an office now, just like before. Counting the moments until I retire.
there is a woman here named Beth. She is very skinny, like Olsen twin skinny. She must be 50. She irons everything. She says she even irons her children's jeans. She screamed about a bug yesterday, so I killed it for her. I took it in a tissue and crushed it's little body between two of my fingers. I wonder if she thinks about how my karma was effected in that situation. I wonder if she prayed for me last night when she went home "Lord, I made her kill a creature and it wasn't even in her job description." ...I'm sure she didn't. When I give her phone messages she rolls her eyes and lets out an exhausted sigh."These people! I don't know how they breath!" Beth also points out when you make mistakes. She points this out from the other room and shouts it while others were talking "IT WAS IN THE WRONG BOX, THAT'S WHY SHE COULDN'T FIND IT!" the other women in the office silently apologize for her. "it happens, the boxes are very close together," they say.
I work at the hospital. In administration. We are the cogs and wheels of the hospital. People call us when they are upset, their chair is broken, their thermostat won't work, the doctor won't call them back or they have been ruined by 6 surgeries in 8 months and are now perminantly disfigured and in constant pain.
I like my job. I like hearing why someone is upset, and giving them a chance to tell me "I'm sorry I'm just venting at you..." They say in between paragraphs "it's okay" I say and they go on. They would go on forever until I tell them to stop. And sometimes, I can fix it. I can call someone and get their broken chair repaired, or get their thermostat to go below 90, where it has been all week. They hardly ever thank you. They are probably complaining about something else to someone else by then.
Carla is a large, kind woman who works here. She seems to do more work than anyone else. She does payroll. She handles all of problems people have with their pay or getting ids or email accounts. She is tall and wide and has one eye that is blind and covered white. She wears pink a lot and just came back from a cruise. I was sad to hear she got sea sick because I wanted her to have a break. She came back relaxed and friendly as ever. She laughs like the Pillsbury dough boy. heheeeeee.
Sandy is the other woman that does my job. She is chipper and spats out "mmmhmmm You welcome!" with a sharp nod, at the end of every conversation. She says "you" instead of "your" and never corrects it. She talks to herself all of the time. Sometimes I have to ask her if I should be listening or not because talks at a regular decibel and asks questions I feel like I should be answering. "Now, this is a fax from Dr. Soandso, when did this come in......I thought I kep a copy of that." I noticed Sandy says "kep" like I do.
I thought she was very chipper until her friend came in from down the hall, and she pointed at her bosses office and rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. She caught my cold and is out today.
Her boss' name is Jane. She must be nearing 60. She is slender and hunched forward like she is constantly being propelled forward. She is by far the busiest person I have ever worked for Yet, she looks me in the eye when she asks me questions and waits patiently for an answer. A woman last week was crying when she came in, and after she came out of Jane's office they were talking about yoga. Jane speaks slow and has big hands. She faxes things herself, even though she has a secretary. She never asks Sandy to make photo copies.
It makes me wonder, if Jane were a man, what would the case be. Would Sandy do more of Jane's work and not even think about it because she would see "him" as an authority. Do you know what I mean? Does Sandy resent Jane, partially for being a woman who has a very important job. Does Jane not expect as much help because she was raised differently than a man? The role of a secretary is subservient, it's no wonder that this role is usually held by a woman and that her boss is usually a man. And it seems to me that Jane does a lot of work a man in her position wouldn't be bothered with because he'd expect his secretary to do it.
I like working with all women sometimes. These women are not as caddy and shallow and secretive as the women in my last office. They are outright and funny and loud, the way I am used to men behaving....
I was going to finish that thought, but you know where I was headed and I got distracted: I was eating these goldfish crackers while writing that and I realized that I hate the goldfish with the smiley faces. I don't know how you guys feel about them, but I hate them. They don't pop in your mouth the way the other ones do when you break them in half with your tongue. I wish they never made the ones with the smiles.
this past weekend I went to the beach. (if you are trying to follow my train of thought, I just got a plum out of my bag and it still had sand on it. My family always ate plums at the beach. Plums and Bologna sandwiches.)
Jason and I drove up to meet my mom and my two brothers and their ladies at the beach in Wildwood, NJ. Jason and I stopped along the way to find a bathingsuit at Walmart, get a pack of tissues for my runny nose, stop at an icecream place to ask for directions, and get icecream. We were already behind schedule when the traffic suddenly stopped. There was an accident up ahead, a GMC jimmy pulling a camper, jacknifed and tumbled into the ravine to the left. The cars turned off their engines as one helicopter landed followed quickly by another. What was more amazing than all of this was the numbers of people that got out of their cars, and walked close to the devastating accident. Some, holding small children, some teenagers laughing loudly but all oggling and gasping in the excitement of it. This was disgusting. I didn't know what made me more sad. That there was this tragic accident or that hundreds of people would want to get close to gape at this catastrophe.
when we finally were able to move, we drove slowly the rest of the way and got lost in NJ. (which I admit was my fault, because I copied the directions wrong) it ended up taking us (with all of our pit stops) 7 hours to get to Wildwood. We didn't get to the beach that day.
We ate a big dinner and stayed up on the front porch talking with Joe and Christie and my mom about the Michael Moore movie. We saw the boat the take out fishing and their favorite ice cream shop. I got ice cream twice that day. First mint chocolate chip then caramel pecan turtle. mmmm.
Jason and I woke up early to get to the beach. We both wore funny sunglasses and I wore a floppy hat and long skirt. My family made him carry an umbrella and a boogie board too. We looked really silly. It was so much fun to play in the cold, merky water of the jersey shore.
Jason won me a teddy bear, or I won it, neither of us is quite sure, but we do know that it cost us about $20. We took a rid eon an upside-down roller coaster and I screamed my head off. We also rode the Ferris wheel twice and a sea gull almost got away with our whole funnel cake.
all in all it was a fantastic weekend.
I love you, internet.
we'll talk soon, I promise.
xoxo
jessica
posted by j-e-s-s-i-c-a at 9:18 AM
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