Birds Don't Have Ears
The story goes that Jason came in from the bar over last weekend and went into his bathroom, perhaps a little drunk and eager to pee when he saw a bird flying around. He promptly shut the door, and left.
Jason didn't leave any window's open. how did this pidgeon fly in?
Jason didn't return to his apartment the next day, or the day after that. I guess we were both hoping that the pigeon would be smart enough to figure out his way out of the bathroom, he somehow got into.
Yesterday, afterwork, we decided that the bird had either found his way out, or had died. (I was reluctant to tell Jason the old wives tale that when a bird flies into your house, someone is going to die.) We were prepared for the worst. or at least I was: Jason was too scared to open the door, afraid of what he'd find. It smelled a little. So i entered cautiously. I looked in the linen closet, nothing. the tub, nothing. the sink, nothing. the toilet....at first I thought it was a turd floating. But this turd had ears. I gasped. "did you find it?" Jason shouted from the doorway. "It's a bat." I said. "It's in your toilet."
Jason came in after he found out that the coast was clear, and seemed pretty calm as he came to examine it. "birds don't have ears, right?" "right." he said and shut the lid to the toilet. We both thought we were calm as we tried to figure out where the bat came in from. Was there a hole in the top of the closet? (his cell phone vibrates in his pocket, and he throws it across the room and leaps back) I yelp. I thought he saw another bat. We both jump and then start laughing when we realize it was just a phone.
We uncerimoniously flushed the bat and he started talking to the famous Brett Jones.
after that the following things occured:
1. my umbrella turned inside out
2. ate two egg rolls
3. watched 30 mins of a 1960 surf documentary
4. fell peacefully asleep at 9:30pm
5. today i realized that i do not know the difference between an ale and lager
6. i thought about getting a spray-on tan.
p.s. did i tell you that when jessica gunnell and i were in NY we saw a guy from queer eye for the straight guy? Remember the guy that got made over and did a comedy act and then asked his girlfriend to marry him? yeah, that guy. he still looked good internet. (just keeping you updated)
The story goes that Jason came in from the bar over last weekend and went into his bathroom, perhaps a little drunk and eager to pee when he saw a bird flying around. He promptly shut the door, and left.
Jason didn't leave any window's open. how did this pidgeon fly in?
Jason didn't return to his apartment the next day, or the day after that. I guess we were both hoping that the pigeon would be smart enough to figure out his way out of the bathroom, he somehow got into.
Yesterday, afterwork, we decided that the bird had either found his way out, or had died. (I was reluctant to tell Jason the old wives tale that when a bird flies into your house, someone is going to die.) We were prepared for the worst. or at least I was: Jason was too scared to open the door, afraid of what he'd find. It smelled a little. So i entered cautiously. I looked in the linen closet, nothing. the tub, nothing. the sink, nothing. the toilet....at first I thought it was a turd floating. But this turd had ears. I gasped. "did you find it?" Jason shouted from the doorway. "It's a bat." I said. "It's in your toilet."
Jason came in after he found out that the coast was clear, and seemed pretty calm as he came to examine it. "birds don't have ears, right?" "right." he said and shut the lid to the toilet. We both thought we were calm as we tried to figure out where the bat came in from. Was there a hole in the top of the closet? (his cell phone vibrates in his pocket, and he throws it across the room and leaps back) I yelp. I thought he saw another bat. We both jump and then start laughing when we realize it was just a phone.
We uncerimoniously flushed the bat and he started talking to the famous Brett Jones.
after that the following things occured:
1. my umbrella turned inside out
2. ate two egg rolls
3. watched 30 mins of a 1960 surf documentary
4. fell peacefully asleep at 9:30pm
5. today i realized that i do not know the difference between an ale and lager
6. i thought about getting a spray-on tan.
p.s. did i tell you that when jessica gunnell and i were in NY we saw a guy from queer eye for the straight guy? Remember the guy that got made over and did a comedy act and then asked his girlfriend to marry him? yeah, that guy. he still looked good internet. (just keeping you updated)
posted by j-e-s-s-i-c-a at 9:56 AM
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