Go to work in just your socks
yesterday after work, instead of going to the gym, I ingested a 22oz beer, potato skins covered in crab dip and melted cheese, and a healthy smattering of peanuts. On a totally unrelated note, I need to buy new pants.
This morning I was getting dressed for work, in the usual routine of rising: after the 5th time my alarm goes off (which is set nearly an hour earlier than I need to get out of bed.) I usually throw my wrinkled pants into the dryer for "ironing" while I brush my teeth and engage in barely adequate grooming of hair and skin. I forget the deodorant nearly every other day. I walk around in my socks, putting my earrings in, picking out underpants and bra you won't see through my clothes. I put on a shirt at some point (today it is sort of a trashy looking top with palm leaves on it in pink and black.)I find my cardigan and my purse, those DVDs I need to send back to netflix, wallet, oh my wallet, where did I put my wallet? Finally my pants are done being "ironed" and I put them on when they are still warm.the metal clasps feel hot on the soft skin near my belly when I put them on. Or, today for example, I try to put them on. I know it's possible that these pants shrunk because of my repetitive "ironing," but when I finally squeezed into them, I noted out loud, "these are way too tight for the office." I wore them anyway. Together with my slut-pink-palm-tree top and my too-tight-for-the-office pants, my only salvation today is my cardigan. Well, the freckles help too. I somehow think it would be pretty hard to mistake me for a floosy. It's really amazing what a tummy and freckles can do.
so anyway, I need some new work clothes.
I hate work clothes. It's such a crappy thing to have to buy. It's like buying insurance or lettuce ~ something you need, but it's really boring. Don't get me wrong, I love a good suit. But I'd be pretty over dressed in my office if I wore a suit every day. Should I start wearing suits every day?
It's a shame to buy clothes that you don't feel particularly attractive or um cool in. You need things that are not too bold or interesting looking, so you look more bland and uninteresting. You need things that don't show your panty line, your belly-bulge, your cleavage, or that tattoo you thought was a great idea. The truth is, covering the tattoo, hasn't been as difficult or necessary as covering the belly bluge. It ends up that I need longer shirts in general. All of the clothes I own, somehow were manufactured for low cut jeans, so that when you stretch just show, your tummy peeks out. Everything I own is tight and bright colors. They are little boys shirts from the thrift store. Now, I have to buy ladies clothing, things are made boxy to cover 40 year old body shapes, oversized collared shirts with matching sweaters. I'll never wear them around you. It's all really a waste of money.
I feel like I need two closets. Two different selves. Did I tell you I'm Gemini?
yesterday after work, instead of going to the gym, I ingested a 22oz beer, potato skins covered in crab dip and melted cheese, and a healthy smattering of peanuts. On a totally unrelated note, I need to buy new pants.
This morning I was getting dressed for work, in the usual routine of rising: after the 5th time my alarm goes off (which is set nearly an hour earlier than I need to get out of bed.) I usually throw my wrinkled pants into the dryer for "ironing" while I brush my teeth and engage in barely adequate grooming of hair and skin. I forget the deodorant nearly every other day. I walk around in my socks, putting my earrings in, picking out underpants and bra you won't see through my clothes. I put on a shirt at some point (today it is sort of a trashy looking top with palm leaves on it in pink and black.)I find my cardigan and my purse, those DVDs I need to send back to netflix, wallet, oh my wallet, where did I put my wallet? Finally my pants are done being "ironed" and I put them on when they are still warm.the metal clasps feel hot on the soft skin near my belly when I put them on. Or, today for example, I try to put them on. I know it's possible that these pants shrunk because of my repetitive "ironing," but when I finally squeezed into them, I noted out loud, "these are way too tight for the office." I wore them anyway. Together with my slut-pink-palm-tree top and my too-tight-for-the-office pants, my only salvation today is my cardigan. Well, the freckles help too. I somehow think it would be pretty hard to mistake me for a floosy. It's really amazing what a tummy and freckles can do.
so anyway, I need some new work clothes.
I hate work clothes. It's such a crappy thing to have to buy. It's like buying insurance or lettuce ~ something you need, but it's really boring. Don't get me wrong, I love a good suit. But I'd be pretty over dressed in my office if I wore a suit every day. Should I start wearing suits every day?
It's a shame to buy clothes that you don't feel particularly attractive or um cool in. You need things that are not too bold or interesting looking, so you look more bland and uninteresting. You need things that don't show your panty line, your belly-bulge, your cleavage, or that tattoo you thought was a great idea. The truth is, covering the tattoo, hasn't been as difficult or necessary as covering the belly bluge. It ends up that I need longer shirts in general. All of the clothes I own, somehow were manufactured for low cut jeans, so that when you stretch just show, your tummy peeks out. Everything I own is tight and bright colors. They are little boys shirts from the thrift store. Now, I have to buy ladies clothing, things are made boxy to cover 40 year old body shapes, oversized collared shirts with matching sweaters. I'll never wear them around you. It's all really a waste of money.
I feel like I need two closets. Two different selves. Did I tell you I'm Gemini?
posted by j-e-s-s-i-c-a at 10:45 AM
1 Comments:
if you have to buy the boxy ladies stuff I can help you do some talioring on my machine next time I see you!
<3 JM
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