i think i'm going to start jogging today. does anyone say "jogging" anymore? maybe i should invest in sweatbands.
today, i had the best sandwich: green apple slices, melted brie and honey roasted turkey on a baguette with mustard.
also today this happened:
I found one of my best friends from my pre-teen era on Friendster. We haven't really really spoken in almost ten years. Apparently I bought him an Ace of Base CD which he still loves/remembers. woah. right? He and I shared many a cheese pretzel, a dollar-fifty movie, spit exchanges, summer afternoons when we were both finding out who we were and who we wanted to be. Now he kisses boys and lives in California. He taught me how to get the character "Smoke" on Mortal Kombat 2 after many hours watching him play in the arcade. He also taught me to toss my head around when I dance. Isn't this internet is really incredible isn't it?
I wonder if we met now, if we'd like eachother. I mean, besides the admiration you have for old friends. When i was that age, it was just when i was really finding my way outside of the house and really starting to love people who weren't my family. It's beautiful. For the first time, i was growing wings. ...mind you, they were wings that only took me as far as the "village mall" about 1/2 mile away. But we spent all summer there loitering and laughing and growing up. For a while i couldn't figure out why it mattered so much to know where all of the important characters from that time in my life went off to and what happened to them. Everybody had friends when they were 12 years old who they lost touch with...why did it mean so much to me to talk to one of them today?: I realized that it was after meeting Jeff when I got cancer and maybe those days became memories that i have preserved as the last 'innocent' times. Because, even if i don't' say so very often, life was simply different after that. Now, obviously, you're smart, i don't need to explain to you, what exactly i mean by innocent (because if i remember we were having naughty conversation and kissing like those kids in all those afterschool specials) i mean 'innocent' in the rawest way i can mean it: free from the knowledge of inevitable death. woah. this has gotten really heavy....geez. did i tell you about that delicious sandwich i had today? Anyway, it was really neat to hear from Jeff today and to sort of realize that when i try to emulate "having fun" i'm emulating hanging out with Jeff and Ginger at the Village Mall and being free.
today, i had the best sandwich: green apple slices, melted brie and honey roasted turkey on a baguette with mustard.
also today this happened:
I found one of my best friends from my pre-teen era on Friendster. We haven't really really spoken in almost ten years. Apparently I bought him an Ace of Base CD which he still loves/remembers. woah. right? He and I shared many a cheese pretzel, a dollar-fifty movie, spit exchanges, summer afternoons when we were both finding out who we were and who we wanted to be. Now he kisses boys and lives in California. He taught me how to get the character "Smoke" on Mortal Kombat 2 after many hours watching him play in the arcade. He also taught me to toss my head around when I dance. Isn't this internet is really incredible isn't it?
I wonder if we met now, if we'd like eachother. I mean, besides the admiration you have for old friends. When i was that age, it was just when i was really finding my way outside of the house and really starting to love people who weren't my family. It's beautiful. For the first time, i was growing wings. ...mind you, they were wings that only took me as far as the "village mall" about 1/2 mile away. But we spent all summer there loitering and laughing and growing up. For a while i couldn't figure out why it mattered so much to know where all of the important characters from that time in my life went off to and what happened to them. Everybody had friends when they were 12 years old who they lost touch with...why did it mean so much to me to talk to one of them today?: I realized that it was after meeting Jeff when I got cancer and maybe those days became memories that i have preserved as the last 'innocent' times. Because, even if i don't' say so very often, life was simply different after that. Now, obviously, you're smart, i don't need to explain to you, what exactly i mean by innocent (because if i remember we were having naughty conversation and kissing like those kids in all those afterschool specials) i mean 'innocent' in the rawest way i can mean it: free from the knowledge of inevitable death. woah. this has gotten really heavy....geez. did i tell you about that delicious sandwich i had today? Anyway, it was really neat to hear from Jeff today and to sort of realize that when i try to emulate "having fun" i'm emulating hanging out with Jeff and Ginger at the Village Mall and being free.
posted by j-e-s-s-i-c-a at 3:54 PM
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