born in Baltimore raised everywhere

Today I saw a man at lunch struggling with his golf umbrella and said without thinking: do you know Baltimore was home to the first umbrella factory in the united states? This was their slogan: born in Baltimore raised everywhere. The man was frustrated and confused. Why would I tell him this when he can't get his umbrella open? While he is getting wet and has to put his briefcase down in a puddle push the arms of his contraption open. "no, I didn't know that" he said this plainly and as he walked away I heard him say to himself "...And all the years I've lived here..."

Sometimes I wonder how long it would take me to become one of those absolutely insane people. Considering how most of the time I'm a little borderline insane.

Today there was this woman near the hospital where I went to get my id badge. I was tempted by the hot dog stand and got mustard on the sleeve of my sweater. The woman was huddling under an half an awning smoking her cigarette with her arms crossed over her chest. "do you think this will ever come out?" I asked, as though she had known me, all the time, even known that I was famished at 10am and shared a vendor's huge umbrella to scarf it down. She looked at me and fastened her lips tight across her teeth and shook her head. "mustard? Nope."
"forever?" I asked.
"maybe you could Shout it out, or Arm & Hammer, Arm & Hammer works. Maybe no one will notice."
"Really?" I asked
"I wouldn't have noticed unless you flipped up your sleeve to show me."

So here I am out in the world telling old men about umbrella factories and showing a stranger the mustard I got on the cuff of my sleeve.

How long could it possibly take until I'm wearing a sign around my neck and handing out flyers about Jesus shouting about the end of civilization as we know it??