Ouch.
My breath still stinks, hair still smells like smoke and I'm pretty sure I'm sweating whiskey. Hot huh?
Last night you found Emily and I at the No Idea. I was so glad to see bre and her sister. I always love seeing bre. I met a new blogger - Jen - who'd I'd link but I don't remember. But anyway - she's awesome, dudes. She sucks at pool, but she's awesome. I thought for sure we'd stay for only one beer - but instead four or five whiskeys later and 3 shots for the birthday boy and taking off my tanktop while my t-shirt was still on at the bar - I needed Emily to drive me home.
But of course, Emily didn't drive me home, She drove me to the lesbian bar.
Before we arrived I demanded (I don't think I've ever been so forceful) that we drive through burger king and she order me a veggie burger with no mayo. I made her order herself one as well. No ifs ands or buts about it.
I ended up being the 5th wheel on the dance floor. Emily was there with her lady and her ex lady and her partner. They tried to say I was the axle instead of the 5th wheel. But I knew that they were all laughing at my expense when some girl started rubbing on me. I tried to turn away - and then she came up with the most clever move - rubbing her ass on my ass. She could almost pretend she was doing it by accident. It was sheer brilliance. There was also a really hot girl who danced up on me at the bar - tall and blonde just like I like em (if I were to like em) and she sort of -hand to god- "humped" me while the dj played a song that repeated "don-key, don-key." I was so confused.
It was drag king night and a lot of the girls had skinny little beards painted on their chins. I have to say - the outfits were very well executed. Someone gave me valentine hearts and we all thought it was a great idea to do the most disgusting jello shot. I think mine was asparagus/shitty vodka flavored. The ladies were wonderful and I "danced my pain away."
Emily dropped me at home and I barely said good bye. I plopped myself in my underpants in front of PBS and uttered outloud to myself "oh thank god." - I'm still not sure why I said that - thank god, for PBS? For the soft couch? For surviving the night? - but it was most likely for the single kit-kat bar sitting on my coffee table.
I didn't have time to reflect on my evening of verbal and physical humping before I passed out on the couch with all the lights on in the room. This morning I woke up with PBS on the television, and haven't yet changed the channel.
Last night you found Emily and I at the No Idea. I was so glad to see bre and her sister. I always love seeing bre. I met a new blogger - Jen - who'd I'd link but I don't remember. But anyway - she's awesome, dudes. She sucks at pool, but she's awesome. I thought for sure we'd stay for only one beer - but instead four or five whiskeys later and 3 shots for the birthday boy and taking off my tanktop while my t-shirt was still on at the bar - I needed Emily to drive me home.
But of course, Emily didn't drive me home, She drove me to the lesbian bar.
Before we arrived I demanded (I don't think I've ever been so forceful) that we drive through burger king and she order me a veggie burger with no mayo. I made her order herself one as well. No ifs ands or buts about it.
I ended up being the 5th wheel on the dance floor. Emily was there with her lady and her ex lady and her partner. They tried to say I was the axle instead of the 5th wheel. But I knew that they were all laughing at my expense when some girl started rubbing on me. I tried to turn away - and then she came up with the most clever move - rubbing her ass on my ass. She could almost pretend she was doing it by accident. It was sheer brilliance. There was also a really hot girl who danced up on me at the bar - tall and blonde just like I like em (if I were to like em) and she sort of -hand to god- "humped" me while the dj played a song that repeated "don-key, don-key." I was so confused.
It was drag king night and a lot of the girls had skinny little beards painted on their chins. I have to say - the outfits were very well executed. Someone gave me valentine hearts and we all thought it was a great idea to do the most disgusting jello shot. I think mine was asparagus/shitty vodka flavored. The ladies were wonderful and I "danced my pain away."
Emily dropped me at home and I barely said good bye. I plopped myself in my underpants in front of PBS and uttered outloud to myself "oh thank god." - I'm still not sure why I said that - thank god, for PBS? For the soft couch? For surviving the night? - but it was most likely for the single kit-kat bar sitting on my coffee table.
I didn't have time to reflect on my evening of verbal and physical humping before I passed out on the couch with all the lights on in the room. This morning I woke up with PBS on the television, and haven't yet changed the channel.
posted by j-e-s-s-i-c-a at 12:34 PM
1 Comments:
Hey Jessica, it was great meeting you at the happy hour last week! I'd challenge you to a rematch in pool, but I have a feeling that wouldn't turn out much better :-P
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