Weaker and weaker this weekend
Friday I felt great. It was Friday. You're supposed to feel great on Fridays. I was afraid to find the Lithuanian Dance hall by myself. I was glad that Jaime went with me. We brought balloons for Amy. It was her birthday. I pretended that I bought the balloons just for her, but I didn't buy those balloons. See, at our last staff meeting they wanted to "celebrate" us and got a couple dozen balloons. There was something magical about these helium, latex balloons. Apparently they injected them with some "accelerator" and they lasted for almost 2 weeks, and that's before I gave them to Amy. They looked great when I gave them to her, brand new looking. But I'm secretly an asshole who gives 2-week old balloons and tries to pass them off as an impromptu present.
The Lithuanian dance hall was exactly that. The walls and bar were paneled VFW style and the inside looked like any lodge you've ever been in. Remember the Odd Fellow's hall? Ben and Corey lived there and I lived there with Thom for one summer while they were on tour. The Odd Fellow's hall in Dickeyville was renovated into an apartment some time ago but they just covered up the wood paneling with white paint. There were stray cats that used to come and visit us on the porch and it would get so hot that by day break we'd both have to move from our bedrooms to the living room in some sort of half-drunk sleepy under pants stupor so that we wouldn't fry up. What if I lived in the Lithuanian dance hall? There was a man who was dozing off at the bar and we decided he was certainly actually Lithuanian. We let him sleep, while all of these people with stylish jeans and just-so-lovely, greasy hair danced and chatted over him. I wonder what they think. The Lithuanian old men who frequent there. I wonder what they think when they see us, in dresses with jeans underneath, purposeless belts and our hair in our eyes?
Saturday, I didn't feel so well. It's Saturday you're not supposed to feel so well. You're supposed to roll around in bed a little and enjoy how funny your swollen brain feels after a night of $2.00 rum and cokes. On Saturday you're supposed to pull the telephone close to you so you don't have to get up to answer it. If you're smart on Saturday you'll do what I did. You'll make pudding and popcorn and then get back into bed to watch Back to the Future. You'll be a delighted when the sequel comes on directly afterwards. You'll be even delighted when Back to the Future 3 comes on in rapid succession, but you'll fall asleep during this one. Then it will be 5pm.
I finally did the dishes in my sink which I had been putting off for two weeks. Yes, I'm a disgusting human being that let gross dishes sit in my sink for two weeks. It's really better that you know this about me now so that there isn't any pretense. Guests come over to watch Rocky. Caryn is sick and we decide to downgrade our No Holds Barred Ultimate Rocky 1-5 Sleep-over to simply a hang out. We dimmed the lights to movie setting, made popcorn ordered sushi, drank wine and oh and we made delicious soda. Lindsey and Caryn loved Rocky and I loved them for loving it. We all felt such a rush of adrenaline after the first one that we had to watch the second one. I thought I could trick them both in to watching all five this way. I guess it's mean to trick your house guests so I decided not to. Plus, I was starting to get sick too. Actually, by the time I went to bed I was a miserable sneezy-stuffy mess.
Sunday: I don't know why I don't like to take medicine. I guess I feel like it's admitting that I'm sick. I'd like to pretend for days that I have allergies or something, even though I've never had allergies. Taking medicine seems like some terrible defeat. It's asking for help because my white blood cells aren't strong enough. I'm just like you're dad who threw his back out carrying the air conditioner up to the attic. I'm an idiot. I was a drone on Sunday. I was a whiney pathetic drone. I felt a little better when I finally showered and met Virginia and Russell for lunch. We ended up eating again only a little bit later when we ordered Chinese food and got it delivered, even though it's extremely obvious that we could have walked there very, very, very easily. But we were watching the Academy Awards. We couldn't be torn away. We each were under a blanket with extra pillows and each with our own bottle of root beer. We were amazed that somehow this year all of the dresses were a very similar color of muted, dusty, flesh. Some were more yellow and some were more pink but they were pretty much all putty-colored. Who thought of this? Were designers conspiring to make the Oscars even more boring than they already are? In the end we decided that we liked Chris Rock and disliked Sean Penn and Dustin Hoffman was definitely drunk.
Today I'm still feeling sick. I hope this beautiful snow sends me home from the office. I hope this beautiful snow sends you home from the office too.
Friday I felt great. It was Friday. You're supposed to feel great on Fridays. I was afraid to find the Lithuanian Dance hall by myself. I was glad that Jaime went with me. We brought balloons for Amy. It was her birthday. I pretended that I bought the balloons just for her, but I didn't buy those balloons. See, at our last staff meeting they wanted to "celebrate" us and got a couple dozen balloons. There was something magical about these helium, latex balloons. Apparently they injected them with some "accelerator" and they lasted for almost 2 weeks, and that's before I gave them to Amy. They looked great when I gave them to her, brand new looking. But I'm secretly an asshole who gives 2-week old balloons and tries to pass them off as an impromptu present.
The Lithuanian dance hall was exactly that. The walls and bar were paneled VFW style and the inside looked like any lodge you've ever been in. Remember the Odd Fellow's hall? Ben and Corey lived there and I lived there with Thom for one summer while they were on tour. The Odd Fellow's hall in Dickeyville was renovated into an apartment some time ago but they just covered up the wood paneling with white paint. There were stray cats that used to come and visit us on the porch and it would get so hot that by day break we'd both have to move from our bedrooms to the living room in some sort of half-drunk sleepy under pants stupor so that we wouldn't fry up. What if I lived in the Lithuanian dance hall? There was a man who was dozing off at the bar and we decided he was certainly actually Lithuanian. We let him sleep, while all of these people with stylish jeans and just-so-lovely, greasy hair danced and chatted over him. I wonder what they think. The Lithuanian old men who frequent there. I wonder what they think when they see us, in dresses with jeans underneath, purposeless belts and our hair in our eyes?
Saturday, I didn't feel so well. It's Saturday you're not supposed to feel so well. You're supposed to roll around in bed a little and enjoy how funny your swollen brain feels after a night of $2.00 rum and cokes. On Saturday you're supposed to pull the telephone close to you so you don't have to get up to answer it. If you're smart on Saturday you'll do what I did. You'll make pudding and popcorn and then get back into bed to watch Back to the Future. You'll be a delighted when the sequel comes on directly afterwards. You'll be even delighted when Back to the Future 3 comes on in rapid succession, but you'll fall asleep during this one. Then it will be 5pm.
I finally did the dishes in my sink which I had been putting off for two weeks. Yes, I'm a disgusting human being that let gross dishes sit in my sink for two weeks. It's really better that you know this about me now so that there isn't any pretense. Guests come over to watch Rocky. Caryn is sick and we decide to downgrade our No Holds Barred Ultimate Rocky 1-5 Sleep-over to simply a hang out. We dimmed the lights to movie setting, made popcorn ordered sushi, drank wine and oh and we made delicious soda. Lindsey and Caryn loved Rocky and I loved them for loving it. We all felt such a rush of adrenaline after the first one that we had to watch the second one. I thought I could trick them both in to watching all five this way. I guess it's mean to trick your house guests so I decided not to. Plus, I was starting to get sick too. Actually, by the time I went to bed I was a miserable sneezy-stuffy mess.
Sunday: I don't know why I don't like to take medicine. I guess I feel like it's admitting that I'm sick. I'd like to pretend for days that I have allergies or something, even though I've never had allergies. Taking medicine seems like some terrible defeat. It's asking for help because my white blood cells aren't strong enough. I'm just like you're dad who threw his back out carrying the air conditioner up to the attic. I'm an idiot. I was a drone on Sunday. I was a whiney pathetic drone. I felt a little better when I finally showered and met Virginia and Russell for lunch. We ended up eating again only a little bit later when we ordered Chinese food and got it delivered, even though it's extremely obvious that we could have walked there very, very, very easily. But we were watching the Academy Awards. We couldn't be torn away. We each were under a blanket with extra pillows and each with our own bottle of root beer. We were amazed that somehow this year all of the dresses were a very similar color of muted, dusty, flesh. Some were more yellow and some were more pink but they were pretty much all putty-colored. Who thought of this? Were designers conspiring to make the Oscars even more boring than they already are? In the end we decided that we liked Chris Rock and disliked Sean Penn and Dustin Hoffman was definitely drunk.
Today I'm still feeling sick. I hope this beautiful snow sends me home from the office. I hope this beautiful snow sends you home from the office too.
posted by j-e-s-s-i-c-a at 9:32 AM
3 Comments:
I know someone who lives in the old Odd Fellows place...weird. This is such a small town :-)
Did the guy sleeping at the bar have a sailor hat on? A big pot belly and a sailor hat?
okay, this is like a totally delayed reaction...but *I* used to live directly across the street from the Lith Hall.
Post a Comment
<< Home