Celebrating Sarah

Last night, we went to Fraizer's in the rain to celebrate Sarah's trip to Baltimore. Too loud to hear, we sat around a table and shouted compliments at one another. We all missed Sarah. After the (terrible) kareoke ended, we dropped it. Like it was hot, even.

bathroom sign

Someone posted a sign in the women's bathroom at work. It's lamenated with large, bold, red letters and reads: "PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO FLUSH."

I had no idea it was such an issue.

one full week.

Tuesday: The ramp worked! My friend, Jim came over with ease. I was worried because he has an electric chair and it weighs about 500lbs. But the structure was sound. I felt like bragging and grunting and beating my chest like an ape. In celebration there was sort of a spontaneous party.

Wednesday: I didn't have work. I cleaned up after said spontaneous party. I watched some terrible movies on TBS and hung up flyers for my reading on the 16th at Holy Frijoles and Common Ground. In some stroke of seridepidity, Victoria needed a ride, just as I was leaving and we drove to Philly together. We have the same birthday. She lives in the apartment I used to live in. We have lots of strange and wonderful luck. When I got to Philly, I stayed up late making pies with my mother.

Thursday: Thanksgiving. You know what happens on Thanksgiving, I don't need to go into detail, too much, do I? This year two of my brothers and their wives couldn't make it to dinner. It was the first time my family has ever had such a small thanksgiving. It ended up working out just fine, but before we started, we took a picture of my mother eating all alone because we though, with an appropriate caption, it would be a really funny guilt trip to play on the older two brothers.
"Next year, I think we should plan a little better..."


Thursday Night: I went to the diner I participated in my favorite Thanksgiving ritual, where I meet up with a select group of suburbs friends and get coffee until the wee hours of the night. I think we've been doing it since high school. The best part was seeing my best buddy, Jeanne. She brought Lyncee this year. Together they are going to put out a comic book collaboration together in Philly called Werewolf Boner. I'm glad she made such nice friends. Werewolf boner. hahaha. I love them.

Friday:I bought a warm pair of boots and found a coat rack for Santa to get me. Friday night I met friends from my youth group in high school at a bar inside a bowling alley where people were singing along with TOOL for kareoke. Afterwards I escaped with my cousin to a diner for some refreshing, greasy coffee.

Saturday: Jones met me at my mother's house and we drove up to NYC together. We had a second Thanksgiving at Adrian and Albert Cadabra's apartment. The guests in attendance were comic book artists, burlesque dancers, magicians, bed-of-nails ladies, sword swallowers, comedians, rappers, and bakers. The baker made cookies that looked like Adrian and Albert's heads. Spitting image in icing. Dozens and dozens. It was amazing. (okay, this one of Adrian, is not exactly a spitting image, but you get the idea.)

Sunday: we ate brunch. We watched Ruby, the performing wonder-dog run with other dogs at the park. We saw, and were very unphased by, Lenny Kravits. We played the new game of cranium I purchased. We reheated and enjoyed Adrian's fantastic leftovers. We went to a bar to see Albert's magic/comedy/hosting. He is everything you thought he'd be. I saw my first burlesque performance ever, with the appropriate amount of tassel. All night diner for something with avocado on it and one cuddle session on the side.

Monday: I should have been at work, but I've been working nights and weekends for the past two weeks. Sleeping in late on Monday in a city four hours away is called "comp time." When I got home from New York, last night around 10pm, I got to see my friend Sarah Raz. She's taking a little visit from Helena, Montana where she does trailwork for Americorps. This is a very short list of impressive things that she mentions causally: the time she chased a bear, the time she moved a rock that weighed 1TON, and her incredible chainsaw talents. Plus she's cute as a button. I love that combo, capable and cute.

Today is Tuesday, I intend on taking a longer lunch than I should and being relatively pleased with just about everything.

Head bang

So, the boy who I've had a crush on since 7th grade (and once pushed Carla C. off a curb for kissing) is now in a loud band and he thrashes his hair around on MTV2. I was hoping that idiotic head banging would make me find him repulsive, but, not even that did the trick. I mean for goodness sakes, things like that didn't seem to bother me when he was in a freakin SKA band, either. How hopeless.

He still has a good handshake.

thursday. friday. saturday. sunday.

Thursday I picked up crabs from LP Steamers. The people at the crab place were a little tired and wanted to go home. "You have to be here before nine, because we close," They said. But, when I arrived my favorite crab lady said, "Oooh! Jessica! Why didn't you tell us it was you?" These crabs were eaten while watching Shadow of a Doubt, by Hitchcock. The evening was ended by watching the most appropriate movie for a substantial, crab-protein high: Dazed and Confused. I'd never seen it before, and thought for sure, that it would be this important movie for my generation. I don't know why I thought that exactly.

Friday, was quiet, with Chinese food, phone off the hook and a long bath.

On Saturday, I went to Clipper City Brewery and took a tour. This was a free tour and, to my delight, free tours also include free beer. My favorite, by far, is McHenery, named after our favorite star-spangled banner fort. It is smooth The brewery was awesome. I had beer in my tummy and hops in my pockets when I left there. The one lesson I learned, above all, was to never drink beer out of a bottle. However, I always drink beer out of bottles. If you are a connoisseur, you might like to know that you should at least wipe the lip before you drink. I could go into detail about how the bottling technique of all breweries makes the first sip tinny if you don't wipe the lip of the bottle before drinking - or you could just take my word for it.

On Sunday, I went to the Maryland Historical Society Museum. Now, if you know me, you know I love Baltimore/Maryland history - so I obviously don't mean to diss this place. Truth be known, though, I left there feeling like I really only learned stuff about the rich people who owned land or buildings or fancy furniture and silver. I get tired of portraits of rich people that stand as our "history." I loved seeing the craftmanship of some of Maryland's fancy furniture, it was antique's roadshow had an extreme edition. But, there is something sad about this ostentatious, bold design that seems a little depressing when you think about the cold and hungry people who also lived in Maryland and didn't have things carved out of mahogany. More so, it sort of is depressing to think that we built this huge museum to pay tribute to these towering, fancy pieces, when there are cold and hungry people right now. It made me think a lot "is this history?" or was this museum (and often museums in general) instead some sort of awkward monument to wealth.

Side note: Here's a museum, created by one rich man to document the lives and tools of the working man of early America. It's nice that somebody did it.

After the museum, I built a wheelchair ramp for my back step. This morning, excited to see it completed, I thought how much fun it would be to go down it on roller skates. The ramp was manufactured with a borrowed handsaw, a not-so-powerful power drill/screwdriver and very limited strength and know-how. It's amazing that it was ever completed. And that it looks so pretty!

This morning I woke up at 5:30 to get into work early and finish up some stuff for my newsletter. I feel like my day should be almost over by now...But it isn't even lunchtime yet.

Tonight, an old friend from high school is playing a show at Fletchers. He used to be in a Ska band. Now, he has long hair and a goatee and, from his photos, seems to "rock out." I can't wait to see this spectacle.

4x4

Last night I almost got knocked in the head with a long piece of lumber. Maybe I'll even tell you about it in person. Imagine that?


tonight, 6ish, molly's.

happy hour

I do this thing, that i used to think was really dorky.

I go to Blogger Happy Hours.

I put the first sentence in the past tense, because I realized that I really like everyone that i meet and more than that, I find that it's an incredible thing, this little group of baltimore bloggers.

They are writers and thinkers who I never would have met if it weren't for this itty bitty habit of mine. So, to those of you who I look forward to seeing again, you are dynamic and lovely and I'm proud I got to know you.

And, to all of you other online writers out there who never show up to these little festivities, I'm making a public and rude plea for your attendence Tomorrow night at Molly's Public House .

brian and emma, come on, I never see you guys since you stopped tutoring? way to drop the ball, dudes. give up on the poor little kids, and then give up on me. thanks a lot, jerks.

epiphany, screw the play. come to get drinks and let me make you blush.

max and tim, I made you quiche. you owe me. wtf?

jaime, you recovered from nearly deleting your blog - I think that all of this was a very clever attempt to get the longest hug from Snay. no? suuuuuuure. whatever.

eric, you love weird shit like this!

weezie and sara, what? are you too cool?

bob. pussy.


Well, that should work - or make me loose you all as friends.



Let's thank Mike and his lovely wife for putting together this night of drinking.

Saturday night snack

I'm fairly sure that this photo was taken inside 7-11, directly after I ate a hot dog really fast. I realized after a few drinks that I hadn't eaten all day. I look proud, don't I? I look tipsy, don't I?

this photograph attributed to the beautiful duo of sara and weezie. thank you.

Instead

This is the most beautiful weekend of the year. Yesterday I spent inside, and worse than that, in the office! eek! I have a little bit more to do today for my deadline tomorrow. I think today I'll work from my front porch. I only have one more article to write for work, and then I'll be done - ta da!

I've been thinking about "ta-da" a lot this weekend because Adrian and Albert Cadabra and their performing poodle, Ruby the Wonder Dog, came down to visit Baltimore this weekend. They are absolutely magical. All puns intended.

Instead of getting right to work I took this personality profile test. I feel like it's pretty accurate, the good along with the bad. You know everything else about me, you might as well know this:

Personality Test Results

I think I'm the most embarrassed that it says that I'm only 24% athletic. I guess I should work on that.

So many of these answers I feel have to do with this particular place that I'm in right now. I feel so transitional - maybe so adventurous because I'm sort of just now testing out these single-lady wings of mine. I've noticed, recently, that I'm doing a lot more things on my own than I ever have before. In general I'm not terribly adventurous, I'm just sort of reeling in it now. It's exciting. I wonder how much of these answers will change when I get a little more used to all of this. Maybe I'll always find it exciting to be single - in the lovely, solitary, independent sort of way. Who knows!

I guess what holds me back is that sometimes just wish lovely, solitary, adventurous, exciting and independent was a tiny bit more synonymous with cuddling than it is.

Tutoring

I know you haven't heard me talk about this in a while. You know why? It's because I wasn't doing it for a while. But this week I started tutoring again at the Family Center.

I was assigned the cutest little girl:

"you are the best tutor, ever"
"have you ever had a tutor before"
"um, no."

Not much competiton then, huh? haha.

She's only 7 and is in the second grade. I used to work a lot more with sexually active, swearing, fighting pre-teens, so this little child is such a joy. She has trouble with reading and basic math, but isn't that far behind. As a matter of fact, I think we can catch her up real quick to be at the right level for her grade - or even higher.

We were adding and i was holding up my 9 to her 10 as she miscounted out loud and started again. Her tiny palm touching mine, she squirmed in her chair and shouted the answers at the top of her lungs and asked me to draw a star at the top of her paper.

A++ 100%

Welcome, Frank!

Everyone's favorite reader just became a Blogger.

welcome to other newbies, too!
in the rumble seat
be more, bob

Save the Date - Dec 16

Gallery Show+Poetry Reading+Music Set





Katherine St. Paul (see)
Jessica McD (speak)
Jones (hear)

December 16, 2005 at 7pm
1501 Guiford Ave, F203
The CopyCat Building
Baltimore


Come hear me read on Dec. 16. See Katherine's Art, hear Jones' Music, drink wine, eat cheese, hug and high-five.

Are my glasses always that crooked?

ACW Award - "wOOt!"

At the september happy hour I won some sort of consolation prize from ACW. It came in the mail last week and I never got to post about it because Virginia was in town. Damn you, VA! Why are you so beautiful and distracting?

Anyway, here's a blurry photo:

His little sign has stickers that were obviously painstakingly adhered that read: "woot!"

I can't believe Fool didn't win it - it would be so appropriate!

I'm very pleased to have him myself, though. He's my favorite work companion - next to all of you, of course.

Thanks, ACW. Sometimes it really does pay to talk about jesuspenis.

more mermaid

thanks to sarah for sending the last photos and virginia for sending these!

and the jellyfish danced with the mermaid

and the creatures of the sea obviously love hotdogs. duh. who doesn't love hotdogs?

my brother makes me happy

here's a photo from mike's wedding.

tiny booties and bonnets

This weekend I drove to Philadelphia for my sister-in-law's baby shower. She received all sorts of tiny booties and bonnets.

On Saturday I had to help with the set up for 12 hours.

When I arrived home, My mother hadn't eaten or slept and was swinging a hedge trimmer. With impatient sweeps of the machine she whacked at weeds like wheat with a machete. I warned her, but still, with a zapping smack she cut the bright orange extension cord. The wire buzzed blue and wild and I heard only and a short stifled "oops."

Yet on she went, still running, fists up near her arm pits with this inhuman adrenaline. Bustling. Yelling. Talking non-stop about everything she needed to get done for 12 hours straight. At midnight I knew I’d go crazy if I didn't leave the house. Against my mother's wishes I left and met up with an old friend I hadn’t seen since high school. When I came home at 2 she was still awake and the neighbor was over and they were both chopping and dicing chicken into cubes. The neighbor was drunk. My mother was anxious.

"Jessie, now I need you to clean the bathroom" she said as a command without looking up from the chopping block and pointing with her knife with short stabs towards the powder room. It went on and on until about four that night, and she probably went on even later.

She knew how funny she was being and laughed at it herself sometimes, but couldn't stop her excited, rambling madness.

The next day she was in a daze. I've gotten pretty used to it. When the stress is over, her brain doesn't work as quickly anymore and she slowly starts to shut down. Her responses are slow. She laughs at jokes long after they are said. And tomorrow, she'll probably miss work because she was exhausted and needed to sleep all day.

This is the amazing cycle that I've always been pretty familiar with. This is Christmas, this is thanksgiving, this is every wedding, or birthday - every event. She needs it to be chaotic and crazy to keep going and to finish in time. She probably is pretty manic or whatever you want to call it - but the point is that she's needed to be. She raised four kids as a single mother. When I think about it, I can't even really fathom how she ever did it if she didn't stay up all night sometimes. She didn’t have a choice about being a mother at 21 or raising four kids by herself and you have to respect her for being crazy enough to manage it.

She promised me that this baby shower would be the last event we held at her house. It doesn't mean that this chaos and intensity will ever end. It's just the way things are with her. It's always going to be stressful and always delightful. Almost equally so. Sometimes it feels like I’ve never been more angry with her, and somehow, at the same moment, that I’ve never been so glad to have this memory with her - and we cackle and howl with laughter.

With my muddled and confused idea of what is comforting,I'm totally gonna fuck up my own poor little daughter, one day.



When Christie was opening up pink rattles and afghans, someone asked me if it made me want to have a baby. I feel like it's a trick grown, married women do to younger women to make you feel like you're supposed to be on a track to something or other. "OH, god no," I responded, "I don't even want puppies." Then they give you that double-chinned knowing nod of "Oh, of course you will, one day."

When all of the guests left, my brother and I both sat with our hands on my sister-in-law’s tummy and felt little Catie press her elbows and feet against our palms. I thought, “Oh, of course I will, one day.”

8pm.

this is my friend bob.





his band is playing here tonight.

(he doesn't usually wear a dictionary.)

technology question

Hey guys -- maybe someone out there in the internet can help me out. I know some of you definately have a lot of technology knowlege AND cell phone knowlege. Especailly some of you! So, here goes:

My boss does a lot of international travel and wants to purchase a blackberry or some other sort of similar device. He wants this to be able to work in the US and internationally. He doesn't like the idea of having two cell phones. Right now he has a Sprint PCS plan - but I guess they just got bought by Nextell. What's the best option?

Thanks, dudes!

big, dumb, (green) face

Sick day

This message was sent using PIX-FLIX Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!
To learn how you can snap pictures with your wireless phone visit
www.verizonwireless.com/getitnow/getpix.

To learn how you can record videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/getitnow/getflix.

To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime 6.5 or higher is required. Visit www.apple.com/quicktime/download to download the free player or upgrade your existing QuickTime Player. Note: During the download
process when asked to choose an installation type (Minimum, Recommended or Custom), select Minimum for faster download.