Monday's "Megan" and Wednesday's "Wendy" Both Love Bribery

As you know I tutor twice a week. We just got new kids for the new semester. Mondays are "Megan". Megan goes to the catholic school where it seems like they actually learn things and also, she's only used to getting an A or a B+. How am I supposed to work with this? I'm used to illiterate kids who like to call me a "Lesbo geek."

I think next week Megan and I are going to talk about traveling to far away places so she can learn some bonus geography. I sort of have to trick her into learning things she doesn't have to, and often, bribe her. Megan loudly announces "Tutoring is boring!"

On Wednesdays I have Wendy. I love how she can't read well. I know exactly what I have to work on. Wendy and I are reading the Wizard of Oz, but I'm bribing her too - Wendy likes marbles. She'll have tons of them by the time she's done.

If I become a teacher, I'll be totally poor because I'll spend my money on stickers and other shiny bribes.

"Tony Blair Practices Before his Meeting with W"

I can't believe the BBC published this photo today! This is supposed to be Mr. Blair doing some sort of lung test - but MY GOODNESS!

Q: wireless card? macs? super geek-out?

My friend has a Clamshell-Apple Mac ibook. It's one of the later ones because of the built in DVD drive, I guess. I think its the 466(?)

I went to the apple store to try to get a wireless card and they said it needs a regular airport card and they no longer make them for the two-tone models. The guy suggested that I get one on ebay.

Who out there in internet-land can help me with this?

1. How do I know that the card I purchase will work with this computer? What do I look for specifically?
2. Will this pick up wireless signals just like the wireless card in my computer?
3. Is there anything else I need to get to make internet work on this laptop?
4. Is it worth the money?
5. Do you have one you wanna sell me?

Thanks, dudes!

Stealing Internet to Tell You About Chinese New Year

I am currently on one my many mini-vacations in New York.

I spent a good portion of the morning, yesterday, reading subway maps and studying how to get places so that when I was underground I could pretend that I do this everyday and am totally unimpressed with everything and 'cool' like a new yorker. I was especially proud of myself when I continued reading when the mexican band starting playing in the subway car. "I hear this all the time," I thought as I non-chalantly glanced at the trio. I found myself doing strange things, like not looking like I was listening to the announcements, or looking up at the map, or preparing to get up before it was time to actually get up. To what? To fool all of New York City into thinking I was cool. This is probably one of the geekiest confessions I've ever posted - come to think of it.

I went to SoHo and to Chinatown by myself on Saturday. I window shopped in stores I can't afford like Camper Shoes and Betsey Johnson. I liked the people with the card tables on the street best. The young ladies were making necklaces as they glanced up to talk to you about their handmade crafts.

Chinatown was like you remember it. It hasn't changed. A million shops that are not very deep, but instead, shallow with fiber-board walls extending to the side walk. Each one filled with the same exact knock-off bags,necklaces and belt buckles hanging in dozens off the walls. I bought a watch mostly because I was in the mood for bargaining, and well, I needed a watch. He said because it was the Chinese new year he'd give it to me for $8. I think I was supposed to argue with him more, but I wasn't that much in the mood for bargaining.

Then I went into the jewelry shops. These are long narrow shops, with mirrors all along one wall and hundreds, and maybe thousands of charms and chains hanging behind the counter. There is about 10 people working the counter when they buzz you in. The glass outside is scratched and you can't see so well. There are barstools. "you sit. wait here, I find. I find." A Chinese boy brings out 7 cases of pendants in response to my weird request: a dagger, or a tooth? Something weird. "Something wield. Something wield," He repeats to himself as I look through the stacks of boxes filled with pendants "stinger ray?" no. "tutle?" "how you say?" dolphin?no. "computer. haha." haha no. I sat there with him for an hour. "spin rim?, crusfix?" he pointed at every pendant. "sad crown?" I couldn't leave with out buying one. He was so patient with me and kind. I hope he wasn't working on comission.

The man next to me in the gold store bought $1,400 worth of gold chains that would reach my knees and a gigantic face of suffering Jesus as a pendant. The man on the otherside of me bought his girl diamond earrings for $900, while she tapped her foot with her hand on her hip.

Today is the Chinese new year. They've closed down some streets for the fireworks, but it's raining.

On a Warm Theme

This week I've made Eggplant Parmesan, Hummus, Pasta Salad, Flan, Brownies and Quiche. The best compliment I got on the Eggplant was from Jaime who said "this tastes like a mom made it."

Jaime needed some home cooked food.

Her very, very beloved cat, Miko passed away this week. I'm sure she'd appreciate your sympathy if you want to tag her blog.

Miko was a beautiful boy who Jaime claimed looked like Brad Pitt.

She's doing much better than I expected (although she's been crying all week.) I'm proud of her for opening up her loving home to an adopted cat who needed a warm place to be. She wasn't ready to care so much for a new animal, but I have a feeling that Tonto is sneaking his way into her heart.

I'm trying to completely resist saying something about Jaime no longer being a 'lone ranger'...But I can't quite seem to let it pass. It's embarrassing really.

I was surprised at my own reaction when she was talking about the last night she spent with Miko. I'm always the person who laughs about how I hate pets and never want one, but found myself crying at my kitchen table. It's funny how much we, as people, grow to love these fluffy little things, isn't it?





Yesterday, the internet was down at work and I went to One World where I talked to an astronomer about how stars are born and how long it will take for the sun to swallow us up with fire.

This weekend I'm going away again. You can guess where. I'm bringing Eggplant with me to impress a certain someone with my incredible homemaker skills. I don't even intend on being subtle about it.

Lofty Plans Shot to Hell by Another Blogger Happy Hour

Tonight I was going to march myself, straight from work, to the grocery store to prepare all the ingredients for tomorrow's eggplant parmesan dinner.

Instead, I'm marching myself, straight from work, to happy hour.

Eggplant can wait.

playing catch up

thursday i went to the eye doctor to see if i could make an appointment for them to shoot lasers into my cornea. say goodbye glasses - I'm a good candidate for laser eye surgery and I get a discount because technically, I work for the university. You won't be able to handle how goodlooking i'm going to get. It will freak you out.

Friday I drove home after work to meet my best friend jeanne in her new apartment. She was sick, but we spooned anyway - that's just what we do. She lives with Roxy now. Who is amazing and laughs like Eddie Murphy.

Saturday I hung out with my mom. We had a great time and had a sleepover on the livingroom floor. We watched The Office with subtitles on so she could understand the accents better. We also gossiped. We also visited Mommom. We also tried to fit big things into tiny boxes and giggled as we sat on them squishing them in.

Sunday my mother bought me ridiculous furry mocassins.

I had to cut off the pom-poms. Shoes simply shouldn't have pom-poms.

Rainy Day

This morning one of my windshield wipers wasn't working. The one on the driver's side. The right one was fine, and seemed almost pleased to be doing it's job. If a windshield wiper can be peppy, this one was. Smiling, even. The left one though looked sick and sad. I turned the knob and it would quiver and cough a bit - while using all of it's strength to try to get up and push the rain from the window - and in one exhausted movement it would acquiesce and shutter against my the hood of my car like it was crying in heaves and moans. The other windshield wiper had no sympathy as he proudly shwooshed - chest full of pride. shwoosh-swish. shwoosh-swish. His weak twin grabbed him by his arm as if to help him, whispering something with pleading eyebrows. The poor little guy would latch on to the strong one and get lifted a little way across the car until with his arrogant pride the strong one would shake him off and continue on shwooshing and swishing, head high, not looking back at his fallen brother.

What all of this means is that I had to drive with my head out the window glad it wasn't too cold.

It’s been far too long

The obligatory apology and promises:
I owe this journal posts and photos and stories about far-away places. Put the more time that passes, the more all of this builds up and I feel like I can’t write about anything. I never have the photos I need to upload at work, so my whole Scotland report is a different one altogether – one that deserves time and attention and not to be minimizing the screen everytime my boss comes over to lean on my desk. I leave that for when I report my weekend activities. But. Ah. The other stuff - Soon. Very soon. I promise. Helena, I promise. I promise.

Sometimes it is just important to have some things said instead of none of the things.

This weekend was Martin Luther King Day. In my mind I tried to squish up all of the hours of service into one mass, like a rubber band ball, so that I wouldn’t feel badly using this day I’m supposed to dedicate to service, instead dedicated to lounging around and having a snowball fight with socks instead of snowballs.

I got to see Jessica Gunnell and share two tiny, tiny cupcakes and talk to loudly about sex on the front patio of a bar. I got to see Nic and Audie and watch the bloodiest, most incongruent horror film. I got to see that big shoulder I’ve been telling you so much about. Also, I took baths in lavender.

I was proud of myself for driving in Manhattan and not freaking out like everyone assumes an out-of-state woman would do. I had this smug grin and a little swagger when I locked the car: beep-beep…and then subsequently realized I parked many, many blocks from where I was supposed to be.

The Shoulder works all day Saturday and all day Sunday and I have keys to pretend it’s me who lives in an efficiency on the fourth floor of the east side. They keys jingle in my hand I as I pretend that I unlock this door daily, like it is second nature. I have to put my bags of bottled water, cashews and shampoo down on the sidewalk. Jingle. Jingle. The slow swirl of the barber’s poll sees my secret and peels up and down a little wiser than he was.

Today I’m too tired to be at work and I’m drinking ginger tea, which stings my tongue.

Glasgow, Day One

Two days after christmas I hopped on a flight to see one of my best buddies, Helena in Glasgow.

Margaret came from Paris and met us there too!

My brother told me to stay awake after the plane landed to avoid jet lag.

I really, really, really tried to follow his advice: