Russell's Sunshine

Once every week since Russell graduated from college he went home to Dunkirk, MD to take care of his grandmother. He pronounces "Grandma" like "Grandmaw", a little southern and a little country. I went with him once, her birds squawking and The Bells of St. Mary's playing on repeat were the chorus behind his kind voice shouting a cheery "Good morning, Grandma, it's me, Russell!" loud enough for her to hear as he sat her up in bed.

In college grandma had a stroke. Russell used to say, "I wish you got to know her before, she was such an amazing woman..." And then he'd tell me a story about what she did or said when he was a little boy, or raising his mother, or when she was a young woman before any of his aunts or uncles were born. He'd repeat with fervor the stories she'd told him so many times. Little did he know that getting to know her then, through his love for her, was the most beautiful way I could have ever learned about who she was.

One of Russell's trips home I got to see Russell sing her favorite song, "You Are My Sunshine" at the top of his lungs while she murmured along smiling at something that was familiar. And then they sang it again, twice, in immediate succession. And she sang and sang and I watched Russell watch her smile.

"She always had the best smile."

Today, at his house, in her room after her funeral - everyone pointed at the photographs tacked up to the board - "that's how she was!" they'd say "Always smiling." "She just loved life," they'd say.

She had 11 children and their children and friends that all filled up the funeral parlor. Each of us drove in separate cars to the cemetery because she used to joke about how she wanted to have such a long funeral procession she could look down from heaven and see it.

Russell's mom took the family back to the house and asked him to stay while grandma was safely put in the ground. I stood there beside him, after everyone had gone and watched him say his last goodbye. Walking back to the car, it was hot in the sun. His sweat stuck his dress shirt to his back and made beads roll down his cheeks like tears. Russell said, pointing at the sky, "It's been torrential down-pours all week and now look at all this sunshine!" and he smiled.

20 awesome things

i just got back from new york where I did the following 20 awesome things:
1. broke into a swimming pool
2. drank delicious mint julips
3. decided that my eye color has been "storm" all of my life.
4. got forced to get a spray tan
5. went to a meatballs partys - where there were meatballs and the movie "meatballs"
6. somehow assisted in turning party into some sort of frat party
7. brunch (which is always important enough to list on lists of important things)
8. got lost, drunk in jersey city with jessica g.
9. talked to gustavo s. in costa rica
10. met with admissions
11. met with my advisor
12. figured out my class schedule
13. assertained, quite possibly, the best roomate ever
14. got my student ID card
15. spoke at a surviorship conference
16. slowly began paving the road to becoming some sort of survivorship celebrity
17. got my car booted
18. got my car unbooted
19. took a nap in a wawa parking lot in delaware on the rainy way home
20. missed you all.

Costa Rican Honeymoon Snapshots

Ahhh Liberty

So, I know you've been wondering. "What has Jessica been up to now that she doesn't have to be in the office?" The list is short and fantastic.

There are only a few things I ever hated about the office. The first was simply, getting up in time to go there. The second was finding something to wear that I didn't make me look like some sort of business casual potato. The last thing was, of course, spending my day sitting, instead of in my much more favored position of reclining. So, in rebellion, what have I been up to? That's right, you guessed it - waking up at my leisure only to move to the couch to watch every celebrity documentary imaginable on the E! network, all while completely naked.

Ooops!

Today is my last day of work and my car was just towed from out front.
hahaha oh no! Now, I'm on the phone to see where they took it. Oh goodness!

What a funny day!

Jessoscope

Are you Mr. Right? I know you're curious. Scroll down and see how you and I would do as a couple. Have the fates mated us? See how your sign works with Gemini. Let me know how we'd do.

Like the logical person I am, I've decided to make all important decisions based souly on the stars from here on out.

Gemini Love Matches
Most compatible with Libra, Aquarius, Gemini
Can be good with Cancer, Leo, Aries, Taurus
A 50-50 chance with Scorpio, Capricorn
Doubtful with Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces

Read on...


Gemini And Aries
This lively, energetic pair can be good friends as well as good lovers. They thrive on activity, adventure, and variety; enjoy each other's humor; and like social life. Aries will probably make the decisions because Gemini has difficulty in that area. There will be bedroom high jinks, for both are enthusiastic about s+e+x. Aries's domineering streak will give Gemini the firm direction it needs. Gemini's occasional wanderings from the straight and narrow will keep Aries on its toes.

Gemini And Taurus
An unpromising match, though at the beginning Taurus responds to Gemini's sparkle and Gemini is intrigued by Taurus's uncomplicated directness. But Taurus wants life to be stable and ordered, while Gemini is easily bored and looks for new experiences. Taurus is devoted to home sweet home while Gemini follows the lure of the open road. Gemini finds Taurus's lovemaking a bit on the dull side, and also resents the restrictive net Taurus tries to construct. In turn, jealous, possessive Taurus can't handle Gemini's outside dalliances. Passions cool.

Gemini And Gemini
You won't find a more versatile, charming, or lively pair. These two will never bore each other, for they are interested in everything. The pace is frenetic, but neither would dream of slowing down. They are fascinating conversationalists, have tons of friends, and together they'll throw some marvelous parties. s+e+x is fun and games. But this couple is also superficial, unstable, and very restless. When they move out of the bedroom, everything becomes too chaotic even for twin Gemini's.

Gemini And Cancer
Passionate Cancer fulfills Gemini's physical needs, and Gemini's cheerfulness brightens Cancer's disposition. But all too soon Gemini's tendency to play at love wounds oversensitive Cancer. Flirtatious Gemini makes Cancer feel very insecure and an affair is likely to be unstable. These two have too little in common for a long-term relationship. Cancer needs security and domesticity; Gemini loathes being tied down. Gemini doesn’t have any patience with Cancer's moodiness, and Gemini's sharp tongue is too biting for Cancer's fragile ego. They are doomed to a downhill run.

Gemini And Leo
An affectionate pair who really enjoy each other. Gemini's amorous playfulness finds a responsive partner in eager, extroverted Leo. Leo's self-confidence blinks at Gemini's flirtatiousness with others. Gemini's fondness for ridicule can annoy regal Leo, though, and Leo will probably demand more adoration than Gemini is willing to give. Socially, each tries to upstage the other, but they have a lot of fun together doing it. They both love to laugh, and in bed they set off sparks. What more can they ask?

Gemini And Virgo
Both are Mercury-ruled and have a mental approach to life. But similarity ends there; these two are star- crossed from the beginning. Virgo considers Gemini absentminded and immature. Gemini thinks of Virgo as a stick-in-the-mud and a bore. Virgo's analytical approach seems like indifference to Gemini. Virgo looks on Gemini's busy social life as superficial and a waste of time. Virgo is critical; Gemini is indiscreet. Passions run on a low thermostat; their s+e+x life soon turns chilly. Gemini's eye is certain to wander.

Gemini And Libra
These two air signs are well suited intellectually and every other way. They are stimulating companions who will enjoy a lighthearted, lovely affair. Neither is combative and they're likely to agree on everything. They are affectionate, fun-loving, and like social life, entertaining, and travel. s+e+xually both are fervent, neither is jealous or demanding, and Libra goes along with Gemini's taste for experiment. Their one problem is that they both love to spend money. Otherwise, a perfect match.

Gemini And Scorpio
Gemini's imagination and Scorpio's dynamism would make a good combination if only these two were able to get along together. There is combustion in the bedroom, but they soon find out that s+e+x isn't everything. Scorpio is sensual, passionate, demanding, jealous, inflexible. Gemini is fickle, flighty, superficial, lighthearted, changeable. Gemini is a social creature, Scorpio likes privacy. Scorpio's suspicious nature is in constant turmoil over Gemini's casual attitude about love. It won't be long before enough becomes too much.

Gemini And Sagittarius
These two are opposites in the zodiac and are attracted to each other like magnets. They'll especially enjoy each other's minds for both have wide-ranging and varied interests. Sagittarius tends to be more intellectual, Gemini more social. Both are too restless and argumentative, and both need freedom. They may be disappointed s+e+xually, since neither is demonstrative-and Gemini is very quick to criticize. This affair probably began impulsively and will end the same way.

Gemini And Capricorn
Gemini's freewheeling, anything-goes attitude meets opposition from conventional, steady, conservative Capricorn. Capricorn worries about security, while Gemini frets about losing its liberty. Order and routine keep Capricorn content, but drive Gemini to distraction. Gemini's need for a stimulating existence does nothing to make Capricorn feel secure. And Capricorn's sober outlook puts a damper on Gemini's high spirits. This isn't an affair with high voltage-but Gemini can help develop Capricorn's sensual potential.

Gemini And Aquarius
Versatile Gemini and innovative Aquarius get along famously. They share a taste for novelty, travel, meeting new people. Because both are unpredictable, things can't always go smoothly. But love keeps getting better, for Aquarius adores Gemini's wit and good cheer. If Gemini is somewhat inconstant or unstable, Aquarius understands. If the affair should end, they'll still remain friends. In marriage, these two are affectionate, devoted companions more than passionate lovers.

Gemini And Pisces
The passion quotient is high, and so are the problems. Emotional Pisces is too easily hurt by thoughtless Gemini. Gemini is mischievous and playful, but Pisces is sensitive and takes things to heart. Each practices deception in his or her own way: Gemini dissembles, Pisces won't deal with reality. Gemini needs freedom and I new vistas; Pisces needs unending adoration. Pisces just can't feel secure with gadabout Gemini, and tries to pull the net tighter. The claustrophobic atmosphere eventually makes it hard for Gemini to breathe.

My Baby

I just did a google search for images of "my baby". The idea of what people classify as their "baby" is always so sweet to me - It's their dearest possession, the item that holds their most affection. This is what makes us loving creatures, all visualized in one google image search. Awww these are what we, as human beings, love - tiny puppies, fat cats, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, cars, bikes, motorcycles, computers, horses, guitars, snakes, guns, actual babies...But my favorite of all of them was this one:

Costa Fuckin' Rica

I returned to Baltimore untanned, but thoroughly pleased with my trip. I guess being such a strong advocate for 50spf sunblock has it's advantages and disadvantages.

Our trip began by missing our flight. If you know me, you know I miss just about every important flight, ever - so, instead of being down in the dumps about it, Russell and I started our vacation in the Atlanta airport. We got a room at a local hotel and went from hotel bar back to the airport to pick up a shuttle to a different hotel bar - all night long. We had this plan that we'd look like we were getting off the plane and finding our hotel, but the truth be known, we were trying to track down Delta Pilots and pitch some woo over mai tais near some synthetic waterfall in a Sheraton lobby. Alas, pilots do not seem to spend their time, as we wrongfully suspected, in hotel bars. Instead we met a bunch of strangers and had drinks at midnight to celebrate my birthday.

Upon return to our hotel that evening we wandered into a Pirate party. This is just how it sounds. There were a bunch of young internet,sci fi, renaissance festival loving grown ups dressed in full pirate garb. After getting our photo with the plastic skeleton, Admiral Bones, Russell and I enjoyed some of their ship-shaped cake and Sailor Jerry rum (just in time for my birthday). Each of the captains were so kind to us and told us all about their swashbuckeling fantasies, included among them, was of course the Jenna Jameson Pirate Porn with the Gregorian chants playing behind her! Pirate Porn!? Who knew? So quickly they ejected the Errol Flynn classic to show us Maiden Jameson - all while Sir Anthony instructed us in the appropriate use of cat-o-nine tails from his "portable dungeon" aka rolly suitcase. And, before it could get any stranger, we left - bidding them and their parrots ado, wondering if there could ever be a better way to usher anyone's 25th year!

At the airport, Russell fell asleep while ordering McDonald's. After placing his order he took a quick standing snooze until the woman with his change poked him and he stammered out "Ah, What happened?!"

May 28th, we arrive in Costa Rica - 25 and greeted by the ocean and a free pina colada. Russell had the hotel staff sing happy birthday which was neither to the tune of happy birthday or pronounced like happy birthday. All the wait staff quickly stopped singing when they realized they had no idea what my name was. I blew out my candle and made a wish all the same, even if I was already there and it was already happening.


*There will be more to come about Costa Rican adventures days 2-7 including, but not limited to, volcanoes, spas, hilarious jokes, snorkeling, resort friends, zip lines, drunken exploits, rain forests, mud baths, horsebackriding, and photographs galore.

** Also, I only have 3 more days left of work!